website, blog and vanity nexus of writer R F Brown

Posts tagged ‘unclaimed’

UNCLAIMED: Thai Restaurant Names

thai

Thai Phoon, Mai Thai, Thai Tanic–All names of real Thai restaurants. Small town, big town, every town has a Thai place that is open late night and Christmas Day with a corny name on the sign. Recently I had occasion to be in the metropolis of Mattydale, New York (population 315). It was late on a Sunday night and I experienced an adequate meal at the fabulously named Thai Love New York. The place gave me an idea. If you are about to go into the Thai restaurant business, I want to encourage you to focus your energies on a delicious menu. I’ve already helped by coming up with a list of cutesy restaurant names you are free to select from:

Thai A Yellow Ribbon
Thai In My Eye
I’m In Love With A Wonderful Thai
Thai Oh My
Thai, Thai, Love
Thai Me Up
The Good Thai Girl
Live And Let Thai
Thai Sweet Lord
Bolo Thai
Thai Me A River
The Long Good Thai
Catch Her In The Thai
Lord Knows Thai
Thai Heals All Wounds

UNCLAIMED: Drag Queen Indentities

I admit it, when I was little boy I went through a phase of trying on my mother’s jewelry and makeup. My mother, despite having a full supply of natural brunette hair, even had a brunette wig for me to play with (Was my mother secretly a Saturday night diva?). Though I never stopped using artificial beauty to lure a man, eventually I did put the high-heeled shoes back on their trees and the wig back on its foam bust. There is a little part of me that still fantasizes what it would be like to live beyond gender in la cage aux folles, and here are some drag queen identities I might never dare to adopt:

Cocoa Vain

Sherry Blossoms

Ebola Gay

Caroline A. Panthurs

Fatty Tissues

Yuletide Carole

Ruffles

Cathy Ole

Sharon D’Night

Madge Ick

Bacon Rouge

Halle Burton

Beefsteak Charlene

Fanny Packed

Ginger Roger

Pasta Prima Vera

Penis De Milo

Dyke Van Dick

Mess K. Lynn

Rosetta Stone

Nasty Queen Cold

 

UNCLAIMED: Names For Bar Bands

Semi-professional musicians, if you’ve recently split from the Thursday-Sunday band you formed with some guys from the office, I’m here to get you started again. You might think the old dudes never found your “sound” but my guess is you never had the right name.

Tits ‘n’ Whiskey

E.R. Nurse

Dog Water

Lucifer’s Cock

The Telephone Bills

Sweat Band

Adam & Evil

Perry and the Winkles

Milk Dudes

Chuck Roast and his Fingerlings

Santa’s Bastards

Bass Ick

Muss+Fuss

Rock Of Lamb

A Bad-minton Racket

Chocolate Funkdae 

Dave & Buttholes

2 Balls and a Strike

Flyy and the Ointments

Gay Panic!

Automatic Tune Machine