website, blog and vanity nexus of writer R F Brown

Posts tagged ‘childhood’

BSD Movie Log: Clownhouse

Clownhouse (1989, d. Victor Salva)

Just back from an unsettling night at the circus, and home alone, three young brothers are terrorized by three escaped mental patients dressed as circus clowns.  This movie is about confronting childhood fears, identity questions, and sexual anxiety.  Taking it more logically, I didn’t understand why the clowns wanted to get into the house or why they thought disguising themselves in white face and hoop-waist pants would make them inconspicuous.

This movie became notorious years after its release when one of the young cast members came forward that the director had molested him during production.  Somebody who wants to pick it apart will find a lot of analogous behavior between  the scary clowns and the decision by  the director to frequently show the tween boys in their underpants.  It left me feeling a little dirty.  But to anybody who pervs on that, I say. “Bon appetite, Short Eyes!”

Penthouse Founder Dies at 79. An Open Letter to Bob Guccione.

link: Bob Guccione, Penthouse Founder, Dies at 79 – NYTimes.com

Dear Bob Guccione,

I was sad to learn today that you are no longer coming down for breakfast.  As publisher and founder of Penthouse magazine,  you were more degenerate than Hugh Hefner, but less oogie than Larry Flint.  You were like a 6 on a 10 point swinger- to-sleazeball scale.  But your pornographic inspirations played an important role in my nescient tween years.  Most guys will tell you that as a boy they kyped Penthouse from their dad’s drawer or from under their older brother’s bed, or somewhere.  My brother also collected the Reader’s Digest-sized Penthouse Forum, and it was the best.  In Penthouse Magazine you may have given America its first look at pubic hair, but I loved Forum and its famous letters from readers with their supposedly true sex adventures.  This periodically included tales of bisexuality.  When I say bisexual I mean my interest was in the girl-guy-guy stuff you printed.

I always found the pornographic stories more interesting than photos.  I would study Forum on my own and dog ear the pages that described sex scenes in crazy public places or had weirdo fetishism.  And when a male friend slept over I would read these choice stories aloud from the bottom bunk-bed in my room.  I always had a couple of the strangest, strictly hetero items cued up and then, socko, I’d hit ’em with a girl-guy-guy story.  This was an ingenious barometer to test the other boy’s curiosity or abject aversion without revealing any underlying motive on my behalf.  I read maybe some gross water-sports letter to warm him up and then I’d bounce a suggestive bi story off his Protestant armor.  You gave me a tool to know whether to proceed boldly or retreat back into another real adventure in underwear sniffing.  Thank you Bob Guccione for Forum and for what was the genesis of  a predatory system I built upon, perfected and still utilize to this day.  I suppose if this damaged any of my then niave and trusting boyhood friends, who today are married and straight, I ought to say I’m sorry.   But instead I’ll just say, you know who you are.

–  Richard (address withheld)